Since the hardcore attempt at exterminating our brothers and sisters began over one year ago, I haven’t stopped thinking about them, I haven’t stopped myself from indulging in vulnerable videos just so that I can open my heart to feeling a glimpse of their pain and trials, and I wish every day that I were by their side. Yet I haven’t mentioned anything on my blog, because honestly I am often lost for words, and because I don’t believe I have anything better to offer than what many others – especially those in Gaza right now – have been saying, shouting, as well as many genuine historians and thinkers over the years, for those who are truly seeking truth.

This evening, the videos of the flames engulfing the tents with people burning inside, my loved ones helplessly screaming has left really heavy tension in my body. The weight of my shoulders is unbearable. I kept wanting to share the videos as though everyone on my feed already sharing them was not enough, with many curse words directed at the most wicked scum of the earth, beseeching Allah for His infinite hellfire upon those responsible and upon those who are cheering them along. Then I stopped myself. I needed to take a breath, and I needed to ground my heart. Not for myself, but also for my brothers and sisters. So that I can at least do the least; to pray for them and for the ummah with a present heart. For those going through unimaginable trials. Every time they experience something, I tell myself there can possibly be nothing worse than this, and yet again, they endure more and more and more.

So I put my phone away, and I boiled some water and I made some tea… I made a simple mix of meadowsweet and peppermint for a gentle lift, and I prayed ‘isha while it steeped. My batch of meadowsweet is mostly leaves so it isn’t really that sweet, but I like it anyway. Another lovely combination would be lemon balm and mint, or lemon balm and rose… and to sip it without looking at imagery, without listening to anything. To take full breaths in between each sip, and sit upright. Preparing tea can be ritualistic in itself, if done mindfully. It can slow you down, ground you, and the intentionality behind which plants you are choosing can add to the depth of it. You don’t have to know all the benefits behind the plant you are choosing. Pick one that you often feel drawn to, one you enjoy smelling. And honestly, tea bags can do too if that’s what you have and that’s what you like.

I know feelings of guilt and of helplessness has afflicted those of us who care about the ummah. It is a good thing to feel heartache, to let your heart crack open so that light can enter. We must take care though not to let hopelessness overcome us, and time is crucial, to speak and stand firm against injustice, to use our wealth in supporting our brothers and sisters, yes, but to also strengthen our imaan, to work on our relationship with Allah, to come back to what we have neglected all along, and to take care of our health, physical and mental. Eat wholesome foods while Allah has blessed us with access to it, with the intention of taking care of our body which is an amana (a trust) from our Creator. At the beginning of the war, a Gazan mother warned us moms (and everyone) outside of Gaza from neglecting our duties and our caring and rearing our children and our families and ourselves by spiraling into despair from getting caught up in all the imagery of suffering. The suffering is there and it is valid, but it is not the whole picture. Their resilience and their unwavering faith in Allah is also there.

Say, ‘O Allah, Lord of all Sovereign Power: You give power to whomever You will, and wrest power from whomever You will; and exalt whomever You will and abase whomever You will; in Your hand is all good, Verily You have absolute power over everything.’ 3:26

For some of us Muslims, what's happening is not simply a question of advocating for Palestine as a sovereign nationstate. It is about the ummah at large, and our Palestinian brothers and sisters in faith are an extension of the ummah, our shared body. The lands once trodden by Prophets poisoned, burned, violated to no end by the very same people who claim absolute ownership of it. Allah is Malik al Mulk. In every sense of the meaning, all this vile oppression we have been witnessing on livestreams is a violation of all that is deemed sacred by Allah subhaanahu wa ta'ala.

Abdullah ibn Umar reported: I saw the Messenger of Allah ﷺ circling around the Ka’bah and saying, “How pure you are and how pure is your fragrance! How great you are and how great is your sanctity! By the One in whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, the sanc tity of the believer is greater to Allah than your sanctity, in his wealth, his life, and to assume nothing of him but good.”
Sunan Ibn Mājah 3932 

May these trials bring us all liberation of the soul. May Allah bring an end to the suffering of our brothers and sisters; may they be guarded and aided by the angels and Sayyidina Jibreel, their hearts comforted and their bodies strengthened, may He admit those who have passed into the highest heavens, and may Allah forgive those of us who have fallen into an incapacitated state, guide us to do whatever we can do for the ummah, starting with ourselves and our families.